It took me quite a while to read this book. Not because it was bad – far from it. It was just a very hard read but was about a subject that is very important to read and learn about. I had heard loads of hype about this book about five months ago and the hype lasted for about a week and then I didn’t hear anything after that. Well, this is me bringing back the hype, because it’s out next week and I think everyone should read this.
When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name – Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision: she and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it if she takes it one day at a time …
Our main character, Hedda, suffers from anorexia and has done since she was thirteen-years-old. Throughout this book, we witness her realise that she is pregnant, the pain and torture that she goes through to make sure her baby is okay whilst it is still inside of her, and we see the journey that she goes through once the baby is born.
This book was just an immense rollercoaster. Reading about anorexia is hard-hitting as it is, but reading about a girl with an eating disorder and pregnant just made me really nervous. I wanted Hedda to pull through for her own sake, but also for the baby’s as well. Whenever she would ration her food or do extra exercise, I just wanted to yell at her that she has to look after her baby. I know that Nia was constantly whispering into Hedda’s ear, and I know that voice is hard to get rid of but I just kept thinking about the baby.
I really did like the character of Hedda though. She knew what had to be done and even though she was slightly stubborn at first, she had amazing character development and recognised that she had a support system around her that would help her with anything.
“Most of the time, what I’m sure of is that people will let you down so it;s best to give them a push in that direction sooner rather than later. People are pretty predictable.”
– Karen Gregory, Countless
The character that I really didn’t like was Hedda’s mom. She just angered me so much! Does she not realise the shit that Hedda has been going through since she was 13?! I know it’s hard on the people around Hedda to witness what she’s doing to herself, but that doesn’t mean that the parents get to disown her and basically ignore her existence. Her mom was just the epitome of unsupportive and it really annoyed me how it was blatantly obvious that she preferred Hedda’s baby over Hedda herself. I just thought she was absolutely horrible.
I also didn’t really see the point of the character: Robin. Was he just there for some sort of love interest? I don’t know. But yet again, *minor spoiler ahead* he was just another person to let Hedda down. Another disappointment.
Overall, this was a brilliant book. Apart from the slow beginning and my confusion of the character of Robin, I think that this is such an important book to read. Reading about a character with an eating disorder is hard as it is, but when a person with an ED becomes pregnant – which means they put on weight – what do they do? It must be so bloody hard for them to come to grips with what is happening to them, and what they have to do. They must feel so scared. And that’s why this book is important. Because it explores that and brings issues to the surface.
Disclaimer: this book was sent to me by the publisher in exchange for an honest review